also.

i wanted
the past to go away, i wanted
to leave it, like another country; i wanted
my life to close, and open
like a hinge, like a wing, like the part of the song
where it falls
down over the rocks: an explosion, a discovery;
i wanted
to hurry into the work of my life; i wanted to know,
whoever i was, i was

alive
for a little while.

***

also i wanted
to be able to love. and we all know
how that one goes,
don't we?

slowly.

mary oliver.

centered.

"whoever does not accept himself is engrossed with himself."

oh Lord,

may i learn to have grace for myself, so that i may forget myself.

amen.

why. who.

"woman, he said, why are you weeping?
who is it you are looking for?"

-Jesus, after His mighty resurrection, to mary in her grief.

holy, holy, holy.

Ah,
those who never give a thought
to the plan of the Lord,
and take no note
of what He is designing.

Ah,
those who say,
'let Him speed, let Him hasten His purpose,
if we are to give thought;
let the plans of the Holy One of Israel
be quickly fulfilled,
if we are to give heed.'

Ah,
those who are so wise
in their own opinion;
so clever
in their own judgement!

_

for My plans are not your plans,
nor are My ways your ways
-declares the Lord.

but as high as the heavens are high above the earth,
so are My ways high above your ways
and My plans above your plans.

_

the Lord is NOT SLOW in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

_

holy, holy, holy!
the Lord of Hosts!
His presence fills all the earth!

_

isaiah 5. isaiah 6. isaiah 55. 2 peter 3. amen.

february 21.

"when you pass through the waters, I will be with you."

-the Lord, isaiah 43.

sweeter than.

"laughter is holier than piety, freedom sweeter than fame."

-tom robbins.

but yet.

"among us there is sin, injustice, and temptation, but yet, somewhere on earth there is someone holy and exalted. he has the truth; he knows the truth; so it is not dead upon the earth; so it will come one day to us, too, and rule over all the earth according to the promise."

-fyodor dostoyevsky.