Ears to Hear.

(Mount of Olives, Israel, 2009)

I used to get very frustrated by prayer.

When I was young, I would get down on my knees in my bedroom, clasp my hands together tightly, and ask God a question. Then I would work my hardest to clear my mind of any thoughts, strain my ears towards heaven, and listen.

And I would wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

And I would get nothing but silence.

This would go until finally (usually after about 5 minutes), my frustrated, impatient kid-brain would give up and I'd go on with my day.

After enough instances like this, I eventually gave up listening at all, figuring God didn't really talk to me, and I started talking AT God, because that was all I knew how to do.

As I grow older, I am realizing more and more that God answers prayers (whether they be questions or requests) slowly and deliberately.

For example, a while ago I asked God to show me the needs of a person in my life who is struggling, and how I can meet them. I wanted to see this person through God's eyes and intercede, but I didn't know how. And so I asked God to show me.

And I waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

And then, one month later (last night), God gave me a little glimpse of this person's heart, and a small amount of understanding as to how I can support them in their current struggle.

Keep in mind, this is something I have prayed about every day, for a month.

And just yesterday, God opened a door, and a very small one at that...

I think the reason that God works like that with prayer is because to Him, prayer isn't as much about giving us an answer, as it is about the time we spend talking with Him about our questions.

Because God wants to spend time with us.

And God desires a close relationship with us.

And God wants us to come back to Him, Every. Single. Day.

To talk.

Because that's what people who love each other do.

And so, He holds out on us.

He makes us wait.

Because He wants us to keep coming back. He wants us to feel our need for Him. And He wants to spend time with us.

That's His first priority.

And I want to make it mine, too.