she will turn.

"sad words are just another beauty.  a sad story means, this storyteller is alive.  the next thing you know, something fine will happen to her, something marvelous, and then she will turn around and smile."

-chris cleave.

sanctification school.

"i cried, i think, because i was coming to understand in a new way just how much was required of me, how much God was going to strip away all my everything, like silver polish taking the tarnish off old forks. i cried because i know more and more how chekov was right, how we are all running around desperate to make connections with one another, but mostly we are all just estranged. because i know more and more that this glass here is so very dark, that this really is a long loneliness, that it is both lonely and long.

sometimes i feel God has taken a paring knife to me. i know the way an apple feels."

-lauren winner.

-----

"my child, do no regard lightly the discipline of the L-RD, or lose heart when He rebukes you; for the L-RD disciplines those He loves, and corrects every child He accepts.
now, discipline always seems painful rather than pleasant at the time, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

THEREFORE.

lift up your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed."

-hebrews 12.

epignosis; recognize.

"you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge (epignosis; recognition) in the image of its Creator. here there is no greek or jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, scythian, slave or free, but Messiah is all, and is in all."

-colossians 3.

----

the letter to the colossians is a stunning text, filled to the brim with uncountable treasures and truths. i just unearthed one tonight that made me understand a little more what david might have felt when he cried in thanks to God, "oh, how my heart thrills at your Word!"

the passage explains that the old self has been removed. paul is even so bold as to say that WE have removed it. and now we have this new self - the one that is leaning on and healing in and growing towards, God. this self that is becoming whole.

and what is this renewing, actually? the word used in colossians literally means "recognition." it seems we are, in fact, growing in our ability to recognize our Creator.

i love this because the word "recognize" denotes a history. it hints at a past that we have lost sight of, forgotten. but something buried deep down within us is crying for us to remember our origins. "look!," it pleads, "look to the ancient paths! do you recall Him?" this remembering lives deep within our souls, and it is in all of us.

God's voice is forever calling us to remember and to recognize who we are, who we were created by.

and here amongst the believers there is no distinction save the fact that all of us, at one point or another, were graced the ability to RECOGNIZE the mighty and tender mercies of God.

Jesus has been with us from the beginning. He is all, and He is in all, forever and ever. amen.

oh, that we might have eyes to recognize!

x.

"teach me work that honors Thy work,
the true economies of goods and words,
to make my arts compatible
with the songs of the local birds.

teach me patience beyond work
and, beyond patience, the blest
Sabbath of Thy unresting love
which lights all things and gives rest."

-wendell berry.

the gentle One.

this piercing gentleness.
this uncompromising pursuit.
this relentless reminder, 'I am here, I am here.'

oh Jesus, i do not deserve you.

gethsemane.

"Jesus said, wait with me. and maybe the stars did, maybe
the wind wound itself into a silver tree, and didn't move,
maybe
the lake far away, where once he walked as on a
blue pavement,
lay still and waited, wild awake.

oh the dear bodies, slumped and eye-shut, that could not
keep that vigil, how they must have wept,
so utterly human, knowing this too
must be part of the story."

-mary oliver.

mysteries, yes.

"let me keep my distance, always, from those
who think they have the answers.

let me keep company always with those who say
'look!' and laugh in astonishment,
and bow their heads."

-mary oliver.

dear heart,

"oh, i beg you, lay hold to this precious thought, wholeness in Jesus! for you are complete in Him. let yourself rejoice, for you are accepted into the beloved, what is there to fear? live near your Master, for with your liberator's garments on, you are as holy as the Holy One."

-chs.