Maturity.

It is so hard sometimes to wait for the Lord.

So hard to embrace promises in the midst of confusion, to walk forward in silence, to do what is right without benefit of immediate or obvious blessing.

It is so hard, sometimes, to believe.

-----

But I am learning, as I stumble along on this journey of faith, that no matter how challenging or unlikely things can seem, I always have a choice.

-----

When the light seems dark and the promises seem far away and the waiting is harder than I think I can bear, it is in those times that the choosing matters most.

Because in maturity, our belief needs to rest on God alone, and not on His blessing.

Sometimes God is silent.
Sometimes God is still.
Sometimes God is slow.

And in those times, I must choose.

I must choose to believe that God is near, solely because He says is.
I must choose to trust that the vision will come, solely because He says it will.
I must choose to embrace the promises, solely because He has made them.

There is nothing harder than waiting for the Lord and trusting in His appointed time.

But we must.

We must learn to put away the milk of our youth and move on to solid foods.
We must choose faith.

...

There are times when it feels like faith is all I have, but it is not.

God is near. God is moving. God is working.

And God NEVER stops leading.

I must choose to live in such a way that believes that, no matter the circumstances.
I must root myself in hope.
I must learn to wait, trust, and walk in faith.

I must persevere.

Because God is the God that He says He is.

And when, after a time of preparation or growth, God begins to speak into the silence again - when He, for a time, leads me out of the desert and once again enriches me and pours forth blessing in my life - it is then that I remember.

I remember how worth it this faith really is.
I remember how deep and full is the love of God.

And so, in the desert times, I choose to remember His living water, and I try my best to cling to it - in the winter months, I choose to hold on to His promise of spring.

-----

He will certainly come, He will not delay.

-----

Today, in the silence, I choose once again to believe that.