(Boundary Lines, farmer's fields. Israel, 2009)God is a teacher.
He reminded me of this in a number of ways in the last few weeks by answering a few questions I put before Him (seek and you shall find), and I wanted to share today's lesson here.
The question I posed earlier this morning was based off the parable of the sower, which we studied in small group.
On a small sidenote, one thing I learned from my knowledgeable and passionate high school teacher/Israel guide, Ray VanderLaan, is that when a parable is told in the Bible, one of the most important questions the audience would ask was, "who am I in this story?"
So, as we were studying the parable of the sower, I asked myself, "what type of soil am I? Am I the hard-trodden path, the rocky soil, the thorny soil, or the good soil?" (Honestly, I think I am a combination of a few of them).
And the important conclusion I came to was that, although often I feel like the thorny soil, I desperately want to be the good soil that produces a crop.
Which brings me to the next important question to ask oneself when reading a parable: "Who is God in this story, and what is He showing us about Himself and how He relates to us?"
God is the sower, scattering seeds (His Word) onto the soil.
After answering those two questions, the thing that struck me about the parable of the sower is that the soil has to be prepared to receive the Word BEFORE God sows it. The soil has to be ready before God even comes along with the seed, or it's useless.
This implies a rather important and scary responsibility for us, the soil.
We need to prepare our hearts for God, so that when He comes to us with a promise/teaching/truth/blessing/piece of advice, we can accept/understand/hear/thank/obey whatever it is that He sowed.
If we are not prepared soil, anything that God offers us turns to nothing. It dies, useless and withered and fruitless.
It was at this point in my thinking that I posed my question to God.
"Rabbi, how do I prepare myself to produce fruit? How do I make my heart healthy and ready to receive your Word like rich soil?"
And so I layed that at His feet and went on with my day (which included Qdoba, a 7 mile run, and a LOT of reading).
At some point during my reading, I picked up "Utmost" and read Oswald's words for the day.
And not 4 hours after I asked the question, God gave me my answer.
He did what a Rabbi does.
He sowed a seed.
And what He taught (through Oswald) was this:
"The reason that the battle is lost is that you fight it first in the external world."
And so, I was forced to ask myself more hard questions...
How often, when I'm struggling with something or trying to be better, do I attempt to control and manipulate external factors in order to fix the problem?
So, so often.
How many times, when I feel sad or afraid or in need of comfort, do I turn to food or movies or books to make me feel better?
Too, too many.
Why is it, that instead of dealing with my fears, I fall into inaction, give up too easily, and accept less than the best from myself?
Because it's easier and requires less risk.
In truth, most often in my day to day, I deal with and battle the external factors of life instead of looking inward at the real problems, asking God to root them out, and fighting my true afflictions, fears, and weaknesses.
And until I stand up and commit to fighting the real battles, the battles of my heart, I will never get to a place where I can become better, stronger, and more able to bring the Kingdom.
The true battle, the first and most important battle, is deep within our hearts, where God longs to reside and speak.
To teach.
To sow.
To grow.
And so we must dig out the rocks, the thorns, and the routine buried far down within us so that God can sow truth, bravery, and love deep into the recesses of our souls.
So...how do we prepare our soil?
First, ask God what kind of soil you are to Him. Then, ask Him what needs to be removed, addressed, and rooted out to make your soil healthy.
When we ask God to show us where our true battles lie, He reveals.
And when we ask God to fight them along with us, He shows up, with power.
He waits for the invitation, He longs for the chance.
Only when we allow Him to address our hearts does change begin.
Only then will we begin to bear fruit.
Only then will we begin to bring the Kingdom.
Only then.
"I must first get the issue settled between God and myself in the secret places of my soul, where no one else can interfere. Then I can go ahead with certainty, knowing that the battle is won...Get alone with God, do battle before Him, and settle the matter once for all." - Oswald Chambers.
