שְׁלַח

by Your light,
do i see light.

send forth Your light and Your truth.

preoccupied...

"He brings everything to pass precisely at its time. He also preoccupies man with the attempt to discover the times of future events, but without ever guessing, from first to last, all the things that God brings to pass." -tanakh.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men, yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." -NIV

-ecclesiastes 3:11.

-----

(big. giant. exasperated. sigh).

LORD. teach me how to wait well.

You've got this. You've got this. You've got this.

partnership.

"We must remember that God is involved in our doings, that meaning is given not only in the timeless but primarily in the timely, in that task given here and now. Great are man's possibilities."

-abraham joshua heschel.

the work of mending.

I truly believe that God uses all things for good -

that He speaks through the details of life.

This week, He showed up in a CD.

Mumford and Sons, Sigh No More.

Thank the Lord for good words set to good music.

Nothing works so well at beginning the work of mending a broken heart.

abide.

There are certain days when God just abides - when His peace bursts forth like a river and His presence is heavy and strong.

I do not think it a coincidence that those days generally follow times of struggle - times when I have felt

tired,
spent,
and broken.

Today, as I resided behind a shield of unexplainable stillness and peace, I was reminded that I serve a God who intimately knows my needs, who allows me to face only what I can bear, and who loves me with a depth that I have not even begun to understand.

Today, I rested in grace.

And for that, LORD, I am grateful.

Thank you.

i have no idea.

"my frame was not hidden from You
when i was made in the secret place.
when i was woven together in the depths of the earth,

Your eyes saw my unformed body.
all the days ordained for me
were written in Your book
before one of them came to be."

-psalm 139.

-----

trying to get my heart to trust in this verse tonight. and wishing i could get a look at the next few chapters of that book.

i have no idea how to move forward.

which probably means that God wants me to keep

waiting.

repairing.

becoming.

the problem is, i don't want to do those things anymore.

i want to move forward.

but the question of moving forward keeps getting met with

silence.

darkness.

quiet.

and so i continue to wait.

but in the midst of my waiting,

my heart can't seem to stop

asking the question:

"how long,

Oh LORD?

how long?"

waiting in the spaces.

“there is a place in the heart that
will never be filled.

a space

and even during the
best moments
and
the greatest
times

we will know it.

we will know it
more than
ever

there is a place in the heart that
will never be filled

and

we will wait
and
wait

in that
space.”

(Charles bukowski).

-----

bukowski's words
are true
but only in part

because

our hearts
will never be fully satisfied
until the day when God comes crashing in
to this space
with the fullness of
His fiery and radiant redemption.

and that’s ok.

because redemption IS coming.

the LORD’s zeal
right now
is bringing it to pass.

we do, in fact, wait in charles bukowski’s “space.”
but we do not wait for nothing.

we do not wait in vain.

instead

we wait in hope.
we wait with vision.
we wait by grace.

we wait

until the day comes
when we will
live in

uninterrupted

JOY.
WORSHIP.
LOVE.

and it is my hope
that from this day
to that one

each day
I will grow

more
like Jesus

in the midst of my waiting.

Each day.

"The secret is here in the present. If you pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it. And, if you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better. Forget about the future, and live each day according to the teachings, confident that God loves his children. Each day, in itself, brings with it an eternity."


--paulo coelho, the alchemist.

Arise, Shine.

"In your lifetime, what you need to know is this:

God has chosen you. God has called you. God has taken you by your right hand. He has strengthened you. DO NOT BE AFRAID - I AM is at your side. DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED, looking away in fear - I AM will take hold of your right hand.

You do not need to worry about the outcome. God will control the outcome.

He needs us to be faithful in our day, and church: this is our day. None other.

This is our day.

ARISE, SHINE on the world.”

– steve deneff.

—–

“ARISE, SHINE, for your light has come,
and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.

See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the LORD rises upon you
and his glory appears over you.

Nations will come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your dawn.”

– isaiah 60.

—–

do not be afraid.

the LORD has chosen you.

Arise.

Shine.

for the glory of the LORD rises upon you.

-----

the Faithful.

LORD.

I pray you make me one of the faithful.

Allow me to be a part of the remnant.

Make me into one of the few.

Teach me how to speak against the gods of this age.

Show me how to embrace ALL of You.

Give me roots that are deep.

Unite me with others who desire the same.

RAISE US UP, LORD, send us out.

Grant me courage, strength, truth, and zeal for You, Your Word, and Your people.

Keep me RAW.

Break me, refine me, humble me - anything to help me always remember my need for You.

Make me into a true servant.

I pray you make me one of the faithful.

I beg.

Father God.

Make me, whatever it takes, into one of the faithful.

Harvest.

"Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field." -- matthew.

-----

Raise us up Lord, send us out.

Make us many.

Make us one.

Enough.

A job just fell at my feet.

A job that lines up perfectly with my schedule.

A job that I desperately need.

A job that I did nothing to get.

A job that God alone provided.

-----

HE. IS. TAKING. CARE. OF. THE. DETAILS.

-----

The Lord is my shepherd.

I shall not want.

-----

Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. -- malachi.

-----

I have seen Lord. Today, I see.

-----

Thank you, gracious provider, for the blessing.

great love.

I get lonely sometimes.

And although I am learning how to bring my loneliness to God, sometimes it doesn't go away.

Because sometimes what I am lonely for is strong, tangible arms to wrap themselves around me.

Sometimes (ok, lots of times) my loneliness is for human touch - for contact, for the physical, for someone to put their arm on my shoulder and let it rest there for a while.

And right now, that's a loneliness that can't be met in my life.

Which is hard.

And of course, lonely (duh).

But I think right now, just maybe, that kind of loneliness can be a good thing.

(it's all in how you look at it, right?)

It can be a good thing because it's a constant reminder in me of this deeply rooted desire I have to experience a great love.

A desire that was placed in me by my Creator.

A desire that motivates me to seek out not only God, but community as well.

And although, at this current moment in life, I can't get wrapped up in someone's arms or rest my head on someone's shoulder or hold someone's hand under the table - that's ok.

Because I can let God sit with me in my longings - let Him comfort me in my desires - let Him speak to me in my loneliness.

And I can be a part of the adventure He's putting in front of me, RIGHT NOW.

I can pray and love and sing and live and run and explore and journey and laugh and encourage and learn and write and be brave and study and share and smile.

And hope.

Yes, I can hope.

I can rest in the great love that is currently before me,

and I can hope.

Severe.

"The Christian life is a life characterized by true and spontaneous creativity. Consequently, a disciple is subject to the same charge that was leveled against Jesus Christ, namely, the charge of inconsistency. But Jesus Christ was always consistent in His relationship to God, and a Christian must be consistent in his relationship to the life of the Son of God in him, not consistent to strict, unyielding doctrines. People pour themselves into their own doctrines, and God has to blast them out of their preconcieved ideas before they can become devoted to Jesus Christ." -- oswald chambers.

...

All I really know to say to this quote is "Amen."

(Oh, and one more thing):

Praise. the. Lord that at times His mercy is severe.

Praise the Lord when He drags us out of our boxes, forces us outside our lines, and is willing to make us really uncomfortable .

Praise the Lord for his work in us and its sometimes white hot intensity.

Yes, praise the Lord for it all.

For without His refining fire,

I would surely be lost.

Journey.

(Sorek Valley. Shephelah - The place where worldviews meet. Israel, 2009).

God is BIG. God is not limited to my understanding of Him. God tells me that with His help, I am capable.

And I feel in my heart, this day, His call for me to GO.

I have many distractions to my going: Money. Fear. Debt. People I love. Insecurities. Home.

But my heart is beating and His voice is speaking, and I want to be BRAVE in this. I want to walk with boldness.

I want to GO in obedience, trusting in the voice of the One who calls me forth. The kind of trust that takes a step without seeing blessing before.

Stepping out and then watching for God to move.

The Jordan didn't stop flowing until the priests had already put one foot in. Sometimes the obedience has to come first.

go. go. go.

I mark today as a turning point.

Today and tomorrow and the next day I will keep my eyes open to God in the details of my path.
I watch for His provision.
I hope in His Word.
I wait in anticipation.

Antipation for the journey He lays out before me, for His work.

Here I am God.

SEND ME.

God's Timing.

(Roman Road, Susita, 2009)

God is so good at TIMING.

Whenever I read things of history, I am reminded of this.

And it's amazing to me how God can put people exactly where they need to be, surround them with the resources they will need, and give them the connections that will aide them on their journeys and further His plan, and do it so well.

Most often too, I don't think we recognize these details until they are already history. The people that are living IN God's timing, often don't get the privilege of seeing the things that He is bringing together for His mission, RIGHT NOW.

Perhaps that is why I have such a love for Biblical history (and history in general). History allows us to see better how God is working now, based on the things that He did a long time ago (because He was, is, and is to come. He doesn't change).

This morning I read in "Walking the Bible," by Bruce Feiler, that during the time the Israelites were going through their Exodus from Egypt, the alphabet and a writing system were just starting to break forth in the ancient world...

Just before God gives them the 10 commandments, establishes (or renews) His covenant with them, and starts them on their journey of becoming a nation of their own, the written word is gaining power.

Think of how important that is?

Writing was KEY to the Israelite nation. It is so important, the timing of this, that it almost baffles me.

It was the beginning. The beginning of The Book. The Text. The Torah.

The Word of God, being written down, remembered, passed down, shared.

Wow.

It seems God knows what He's doing.

And this is just one instance of God's incredible timing and His attention to detail.

There is also Jesus. God sent Him to a time when the Rabbi/disciple model was normal and a popular, respected institution. He sent Him to a culture where faith, God, and morality was the most important thing, where the Bible was talked about and discussed and debated, and where people were HUNGRY for truth.

There's the early church. God started the movement of Jesus' message in a time when Rome ruled, and therefore Roman Roads covered the land, connecting cities and towns like never before. Travel was easier, and the likelihood of a message being shared with the WHOLE world, much stronger. There was a common language, making communication possible. Everything was connected in a way it had never been before, just in time for the story of Jesus to be shared, grow, and gain power.

And there's now. At this moment, God has placed us in a world with the Internet (our Roman road), enabling us to connect with anyone, anywhere, anytime.

He has placed us in a time when science is making incredible discoveries about the world and how it runs, pointing us to a God who is bigger and smarter that we could ever dream.

This is a time when Biblical Archaeology is making huge discoveries, allowing us to know more about our Jewish forefathers, the land they walked, the people they were, and the covenant that God established with them. Not only that, but it allows us to know more fully and intimately the Rabbi we serve, and the God who sent Him.

And my favorite? He has placed us in a time when Jewish history is becoming a huge part of Biblical study, which enables us to understand so much better, this faith that we have been grafted into.

All this being said, I think the question to ask ourselves is this;

Are we using the resources that God surrounded us with to share His story and bring Him glory?

Do we even see the details that God is bringing together now, in this time that we're a part of?

God has put each of us Here. Now. For a reason and a purpose.

And someday hundreds of years from now, someone will be studying our time, and reading what God did, now. What will they see?

We are only a small part of this ongoing story, but we are most definitely a part.

So what is God doing with ours?