Walking in the dark

(The Sea of Galilee at night. 2009)

"Do I trust in God's blessings, or in God himself?" - Oswald Chambers.

Sometimes I think it's so easy to lose hope and start questioning ourselves and God when life gets hard. When we experience a lack of obvious blessing, or go through a time of struggle and hardship, we start to wonder if we're doing something wrong, or worse, we start to question if God really is who He says He is.

A lack of obvious blessing often goes hand in hand with doubt.

But what needs to be remembered is that God leads His children through the desert for a reason. He wants us to be ready for when the time comes to take what is promised us. And sometimes that requires ALOT of wandering in between.

Don't forget how our God works.

He promised Abraham a son through Sarah, and she didn't get pregnant until 13 years later. He promised the Israelites a land of their own, and then led them around the wilderness for forty years. He promised Israel a Messiah, and then waited 2,000 years to send Him.

God sees the big picture. And He isn't about immediate blessings. He's about long-lasting ones.

And He's about growth.

And sometimes trust and strength and joy can't be learned until we walk in the dark for a while.

It's in those moments that God makes Himself known, and it's in those moments that we recognize how much we need Him.

And that is the best thing that we could know.

How much our need is for this Great, Almighty God.

And our greatest blessing?

The fact that HE IS.

Ears to Hear.

(Mount of Olives, Israel, 2009)

I used to get very frustrated by prayer.

When I was young, I would get down on my knees in my bedroom, clasp my hands together tightly, and ask God a question. Then I would work my hardest to clear my mind of any thoughts, strain my ears towards heaven, and listen.

And I would wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

And I would get nothing but silence.

This would go until finally (usually after about 5 minutes), my frustrated, impatient kid-brain would give up and I'd go on with my day.

After enough instances like this, I eventually gave up listening at all, figuring God didn't really talk to me, and I started talking AT God, because that was all I knew how to do.

As I grow older, I am realizing more and more that God answers prayers (whether they be questions or requests) slowly and deliberately.

For example, a while ago I asked God to show me the needs of a person in my life who is struggling, and how I can meet them. I wanted to see this person through God's eyes and intercede, but I didn't know how. And so I asked God to show me.

And I waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

And then, one month later (last night), God gave me a little glimpse of this person's heart, and a small amount of understanding as to how I can support them in their current struggle.

Keep in mind, this is something I have prayed about every day, for a month.

And just yesterday, God opened a door, and a very small one at that...

I think the reason that God works like that with prayer is because to Him, prayer isn't as much about giving us an answer, as it is about the time we spend talking with Him about our questions.

Because God wants to spend time with us.

And God desires a close relationship with us.

And God wants us to come back to Him, Every. Single. Day.

To talk.

Because that's what people who love each other do.

And so, He holds out on us.

He makes us wait.

Because He wants us to keep coming back. He wants us to feel our need for Him. And He wants to spend time with us.

That's His first priority.

And I want to make it mine, too.

God's Timing.

(Roman Road, Susita, 2009)

God is so good at TIMING.

Whenever I read things of history, I am reminded of this.

And it's amazing to me how God can put people exactly where they need to be, surround them with the resources they will need, and give them the connections that will aide them on their journeys and further His plan, and do it so well.

Most often too, I don't think we recognize these details until they are already history. The people that are living IN God's timing, often don't get the privilege of seeing the things that He is bringing together for His mission, RIGHT NOW.

Perhaps that is why I have such a love for Biblical history (and history in general). History allows us to see better how God is working now, based on the things that He did a long time ago (because He was, is, and is to come. He doesn't change).

This morning I read in "Walking the Bible," by Bruce Feiler, that during the time the Israelites were going through their Exodus from Egypt, the alphabet and a writing system were just starting to break forth in the ancient world...

Just before God gives them the 10 commandments, establishes (or renews) His covenant with them, and starts them on their journey of becoming a nation of their own, the written word is gaining power.

Think of how important that is?

Writing was KEY to the Israelite nation. It is so important, the timing of this, that it almost baffles me.

It was the beginning. The beginning of The Book. The Text. The Torah.

The Word of God, being written down, remembered, passed down, shared.

Wow.

It seems God knows what He's doing.

And this is just one instance of God's incredible timing and His attention to detail.

There is also Jesus. God sent Him to a time when the Rabbi/disciple model was normal and a popular, respected institution. He sent Him to a culture where faith, God, and morality was the most important thing, where the Bible was talked about and discussed and debated, and where people were HUNGRY for truth.

There's the early church. God started the movement of Jesus' message in a time when Rome ruled, and therefore Roman Roads covered the land, connecting cities and towns like never before. Travel was easier, and the likelihood of a message being shared with the WHOLE world, much stronger. There was a common language, making communication possible. Everything was connected in a way it had never been before, just in time for the story of Jesus to be shared, grow, and gain power.

And there's now. At this moment, God has placed us in a world with the Internet (our Roman road), enabling us to connect with anyone, anywhere, anytime.

He has placed us in a time when science is making incredible discoveries about the world and how it runs, pointing us to a God who is bigger and smarter that we could ever dream.

This is a time when Biblical Archaeology is making huge discoveries, allowing us to know more about our Jewish forefathers, the land they walked, the people they were, and the covenant that God established with them. Not only that, but it allows us to know more fully and intimately the Rabbi we serve, and the God who sent Him.

And my favorite? He has placed us in a time when Jewish history is becoming a huge part of Biblical study, which enables us to understand so much better, this faith that we have been grafted into.

All this being said, I think the question to ask ourselves is this;

Are we using the resources that God surrounded us with to share His story and bring Him glory?

Do we even see the details that God is bringing together now, in this time that we're a part of?

God has put each of us Here. Now. For a reason and a purpose.

And someday hundreds of years from now, someone will be studying our time, and reading what God did, now. What will they see?

We are only a small part of this ongoing story, but we are most definitely a part.

So what is God doing with ours?

Once for All.

(Boundary Lines, farmer's fields. Israel, 2009)

God is a teacher.

He reminded me of this in a number of ways in the last few weeks by answering a few questions I put before Him (seek and you shall find), and I wanted to share today's lesson here.

The question I posed earlier this morning was based off the parable of the sower, which we studied in small group.

On a small sidenote, one thing I learned from my knowledgeable and passionate high school teacher/Israel guide, Ray VanderLaan, is that when a parable is told in the Bible, one of the most important questions the audience would ask was, "who am I in this story?"

So, as we were studying the parable of the sower, I asked myself, "what type of soil am I? Am I the hard-trodden path, the rocky soil, the thorny soil, or the good soil?" (Honestly, I think I am a combination of a few of them).

And the important conclusion I came to was that, although often I feel like the thorny soil, I desperately want to be the good soil that produces a crop.

Which brings me to the next important question to ask oneself when reading a parable: "Who is God in this story, and what is He showing us about Himself and how He relates to us?"

God is the sower, scattering seeds (His Word) onto the soil.

After answering those two questions, the thing that struck me about the parable of the sower is that the soil has to be prepared to receive the Word BEFORE God sows it. The soil has to be ready before God even comes along with the seed, or it's useless.

This implies a rather important and scary responsibility for us, the soil.

We need to prepare our hearts for God, so that when He comes to us with a promise/teaching/truth/blessing/piece of advice, we can accept/understand/hear/thank/obey whatever it is that He sowed.

If we are not prepared soil, anything that God offers us turns to nothing. It dies, useless and withered and fruitless.

It was at this point in my thinking that I posed my question to God.

"Rabbi, how do I prepare myself to produce fruit? How do I make my heart healthy and ready to receive your Word like rich soil?"

And so I layed that at His feet and went on with my day (which included Qdoba, a 7 mile run, and a LOT of reading).

At some point during my reading, I picked up "Utmost" and read Oswald's words for the day.

And not 4 hours after I asked the question, God gave me my answer.

He did what a Rabbi does.


He sowed a seed.

And what He taught (through Oswald) was this:

"The reason that the battle is lost is that you fight it first in the external world."

And so, I was forced to ask myself more hard questions...

How often, when I'm struggling with something or trying to be better, do I attempt to control and manipulate external factors in order to fix the problem?

So, so often.

How many times, when I feel sad or afraid or in need of comfort, do I turn to food or movies or books to make me feel better?

Too, too many.

Why is it, that instead of dealing with my fears, I fall into inaction, give up too easily, and accept less than the best from myself?

Because it's easier and requires less risk.

In truth, most often in my day to day, I deal with and battle the external factors of life instead of looking inward at the real problems, asking God to root them out, and fighting my true afflictions, fears, and weaknesses.

And until I stand up and commit to fighting the real battles, the battles of my heart, I will never get to a place where I can become better, stronger, and more able to bring the Kingdom.

The true battle, the first and most important battle, is deep within our hearts, where God longs to reside and speak.

To teach.

To sow.

To grow.

And so we must dig out the rocks, the thorns, and the routine buried far down within us so that God can sow truth, bravery, and love deep into the recesses of our souls.

So...how do we prepare our soil?

First, ask God what kind of soil you are to Him. Then, ask Him what needs to be removed, addressed, and rooted out to make your soil healthy.

When we ask God to show us where our true battles lie, He reveals.

And when we ask God to fight them along with us, He shows up, with power.

He waits for the invitation, He longs for the chance.

Only when we allow Him to address our hearts does change begin.

Only then will we begin to bear fruit.

Only then will we begin to bring the Kingdom.

Only then.

"I must first get the issue settled between God and myself in the secret places of my soul, where no one else can interfere. Then I can go ahead with certainty, knowing that the battle is won...Get alone with God, do battle before Him, and settle the matter once for all." - Oswald Chambers.

In Some Measure...

-----

"O Majesty unspeakable, my soul desires to behold You. I cry to You from the dust.
Yet when I inquire after Your name it is secret. You are hidden in the light which no man can approach unto. What You are cannot be thought or uttered, for Your glory is ineffable.
Still, prophet and psalmist, apostle and saint have encouraged me to believe that I may in some measure know You. Therefore, I pray, whatever of Yourself You have been pleased to disclose, help me to search out as treasure more precious than rubies or the merchandise of fine gold: for with You shall I live when the stars of the twilight are no more and the heavens have vanished away and only You remain. Amen."

A prayer from A.W. Tozer.

A word from Oswald.

"You cannot truly intercede through prayer if you do not believe in the reality of redemption...True intercession involves bringing the person, or the circumstance that seems to be crashing in on you, before God, until you are changed by His attitude toward that person or circumstance...People describe intercession by saying, 'It is putting yourself in someone else's place.' That is not true! Intercession is putting yourself in God's place; it is having His mind and His perspective."

-Oswald Chambers

***

Being a vessel or a tool for a person that God has put into our lives requires us to see them and their circumstances as God sees them.

To be useful to the Kingdom, we NEED to have the mind of Christ.

How else can we be certain that we are living out of truth?

To have the mind of Jesus means spending time getting to know Him. It means reading His word and getting to know His story. It means watching His life on earth and how he interacted with God, people, and situations.

And it requires a lot of listening. Jesus prayed often while on this earth, and we must do the same. God longs to speak to us and use us, just as he used Jesus, our Rabbi.

So let us say, "Here we are, send us."

Let us listen.

Let us intercede.

Let us see and do as our Rabbi does.

Let us carry on this mission.

Blessing Board.

When you live in a house with 7 people, there tends to be a lot going on at any given moment. So much so, that more often than not, it's hard to keep up with everyone throughout the week. There is always something new going on or happening.

To stay connected, our house makes a point to get together every Sunday night and talk about our weeks, what we're struggling with, what we're learning, and how God has blessed us.

After all that, we do something fun together.

A few Sundays ago, we started talking about all the things God has done for us since moving into this big house together, and we were surprised at how much we had already forgotten after only 4 months.

And believe me, there was a lot to forget.

God's blessing has been abundant here.

So, in order to make sure that God gets credit for all the good things He does each day, we decided to create a blessing board. In a way, this board is a house standing stone, our N.C. family's little something pointing to the sky, witnessing how big our God is, and how faithful.

And it has been an amazing addition to our house. Being able to read each new thing that God has done is not only a way to praise God, but also a way to celebrate as a body together the richness of God's grace all around us.

So many times throughout the Bible God calls us to remember.

To witness.

To praise.

To notice.

To celebrate.

And with this little blessing board, we try to center ourselves around Him, and bring glory to the One who never fails to bless and provide.

"The failure to bless God for benefit received from the world is to deny His goodness and His authority over all that He has created." - Brad Young